So you want to think like a loser? Ok, well here is my 10 step guide on how to become the ultimate loser:

1. Learn that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. Never rush into a job or opportunity without a lifetime of consideration.
3. Believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from your obligations.
4. All deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
5. Never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
6. If at first you don’t succeed, there is always next year.
7. Always decide not to decide, unless of course you change your mind.
8. Always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when you get around to it.
9. Know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
10. Never put off tomorrow, what you can forget about forever.